PINTO CAR CLUB of AMERICA
FordPinto.com Cryer => In Memory of... => Topic started by: dga57 on July 20, 2014, 10:30:02 PM
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In the past four weeks I have lost two of the dearest friends I've ever had. Both were car enthusiasts but not particularly into Pintos. Putting my thoughts into written word is theraputic for me right now but if anyone finds my ramblings inappropriate, PM me and I will remove the post. Because we all worked together, I actually met both of these fellows on the same day: September 29, 1980. The friendship that developed over the ensuing 34 years was nothing short of amazing. I will cherish their memories forever.
Charlie:
I considered Charlie the big brother I never had. We were so much alike in some ways that it was almost scary. He traveled the country with me on numerous occasions, bringing home whatever old car I happened to buy. The last trip we took together was to Chapel Hill, NC when I purchased my '72 Pinto Squire last year. We attended many car shows together and anyone who met me at Carlisle in 2008, would have met Charlie as well. It was incredibly hot and we lost our way and were wandering aimlessly when Connie Rainey was kind enough to pick us up in her gorgeous orange Pinto and drive us back to where the PCCA was. He had planned to accompany me back there in 2011 for the 40th Anniversary but ended up having back surgery and was unable to go. On June 12th he underwent what should have been an uneventful double bypass surgery. Unfortunately, he never awakened after surgery. He died on June 23rd.
Jeff:
Jeff was a Lincoln man; an interest he attributed to me. He always drove Cadillacs until one extremely cold night (-16 degrees) in late 1983, at the end of a 12-hour shift, he experienced a dead battery. Knowing he was tired, I tossed him my keys and told to take my car home and I'd charge his battery overnight while I was working. I had a 1981 Town Car at the time. When he returned to relieve me the next morning he said, "I've got to get me one of those!" Sure enough, he traded his Cadillac Deville on a Town Car a month or so later and remained in Lincolns from that point on. He was one of the funniest men I've ever known - no matter how you felt, a few minutes with Jeff and he'd have you laughing. Last Monday I bought a 2014 Mustang convertible. Jeff looked it over Tuesday and then predicted that riding around with the top down, the wind would blow out what little hair I have left! I last saw him Thursday night at which point he told me to have a nice weekend. Then, for reasons known only to himself, he committed suicide Saturday. He was 54.
The loss of these two gentlemen is hard. Charlie was, hands down, my best friend ever, but Jeff ran a close second. I had eleven days to process the concept that Charlie wasn't going to make it. Jeff's death came totally unexpected and, in many ways, that makes it harder. At any rate, if you're still reading, I thank you for allowing me to vent.
Dwayne
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Sorry to hear of the loss of two dear friends. Cherish the memories and be there for the families during this hard time. My heart and prayers go out for all of you.
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writing something that we hope will have a soothing or calming effect is sometimes fraught with uncertainty.
i lost a friend to senseless violence many years ago.
not that i can say "I know how you feel" because I really don't.
a life lost is a bad thing. the life lost that was close to you is a tragedy.
i really feel bad with you.
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So sorry to hear of your loss, condolences go out to all involved..
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Sorry for your loss, Dwayne.
Having been where Jeff must have been, I hope you can take solace in the fact that whatever demons he was fighting are gone and he can be at rest now. I struggle with that every day.
Russ
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Dwayne--your thoughts & memories of your friends
will always be with you, the hurt will dim in time, so be strong in the near future all will heal. Dick
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So sorry... You cannot replace friends...
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Sorry to hear about the second now Dwayne :( I know he won't have to fight those things that brought him to suicide, as Russ mentioned.
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Awww Dwayne! I am so sorry! I knew you had lost Charlie, and I know how hard that was... but to lose another very dear friend- and so unexpectedly and like that... well, I've been there, too. In my case I couldn't wrap my head around the whats and the whys... I needed to talk to somebody. I talked to you about it, too. Please accept my condolences for the loss of Charlie and Jeff. If I were over there I would hug the daylights out of you.
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If you were here, Becky, I would welcome that hug. It's been a rough, rough several weeks. I miss Charlie terribly, but I just can't get past what happened with Jeff. It all just seems like an endless nightmare.
Dwayne
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I'm late as I do not go into these things since they make me think things I don't want to.
'Putting my thoughts into written word is theraputic for me right now...'
Absolutely. Why I spoke of my great friend last March, and the double bypass thing makes me think as well having gone through that. The second friend's method of choosing? I have warred with that defective thinking in the past as well, I think I've whipped it now but only time will tell. I have to look higher for help as my thinking does not work well there sometimes. It can be hard to put things in proper healthy context, and harder once others start leaving before you. I'm thankful to have someone who can help me readjust when I stray to the wrong place. Sent from a higher source in my view.
Definitely feel your pain, it has put me there as well again just reading this but time makes it easier.
Hey Russ, focusing on the demons and how to get away from them may be the issue. We are all part of something greater than ourselves, I help myself by thinking more of what any act would do to those left behind and how I stay on top of it. There are enough people depending on me so that my doing something becomes a selfish act. I would then be copping out on those others........ .............w ho I still wish to be able to influence as long as possible.
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Thanks. It does get easier with time. Has been over two months since Charlie passed and will be six weeks on Saturday for Jeff. Still hard to go to work every day and not see them.
Dwayne