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Offline JoeBob

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no longer driving
« on: November 06, 2019, 12:26:47 AM »

    When my wife's father turned 80 we took his driving privileges. 6 Weeks ago at age 64 I surrendered my own.
    My chronic fatigue has advanced to the point walking is an ordeal. I am not going to miss my freedom as much as I will miss my bobcat.
The body shop did an amazing job in August. I don't believe in it's 42 year life it has ever looked better. It gets lots of attention.
    The car has become my social life. I know you all understand. Strangers talk to me constantly. I feel like a celebrity, but it's not really me, it's the car. I seldom leave the house with out talking to one or up to ten people.
    I don't have many friends, after my health caused me to retire, my social circle has shrunk. I still made temporary friends, everyday when I drove my car.
My truest friend, my most loved friend is my bobcat. I named him Bob of course.
    Those who know me inquire how Bob is doing the same way one would ask about my wife.
    I don't expect to recover. I don't believe I will live much longer. I will continue to come here every day and live the pinto life through you all.
Thank you for the contributions you have all made that improved my and Bob's lives.


Bill Fallert

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Deuteronomy 7:9

Offline Scott Hamilton

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #1 on: November 06, 2019, 03:16:10 PM »
Wow Bob- what a post. You are always welcome here with us Pinto geeks, it takes 'special person' to play in our sandbox. :)

Not being able to drive your Bobcat, how are you going to cope? I mean really, eating is optional but pinto driving, it's a requirement for well being and emotional stability.

We are here for you,

:D
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Offline russosborne

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #2 on: November 06, 2019, 06:24:04 PM »
Bill, does your wife still drive? If she does, have her chauffeur you around.
I know it's not the same, but you can still enjoy the Pinto and the attention.

It takes real courage to do what you have done.

Russ
In Glendale, Arizona

RIP Casey, Mallory, Abby, and Sadie. We miss you.

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Offline flash041

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #3 on: November 06, 2019, 09:02:25 PM »
Bob, so sad to hear. What you and Scott says rings true to all in the Pinto Community. Like Russ says can your wife drive? How about a friend from your local car club? The head of one of the car clubs I belong to, was unable to drive for a time because of his poor eyesight. A club member drove him and his car to cruise nights so he could still socialize. Just a thought.


Dave 
1978 Pinto Cruising wagon (I am the original owner ! ) Built Aug 15th 1977 in NJ
1993 Mustang LX 2.3 convertible

Offline JoeBob

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #4 on: November 07, 2019, 12:59:44 AM »

     So I took your advice before you gave it. I have a buddy I go to shows with. He has a 56 Belair and we go to 5 or 6 events per year. I asked him to drive us up to Boulder for lunch tomorrow in my car. It is a 20 minute drive from where I live. (Arvada) I hope to take the highway on the way up, and back roads returning. I want to give Bob a workout. I do not know if he has ever driven a Ford.  He is in for a treat. 
     I think it must be strange optics to see an 82 year old man seeing to the needs of someone  much younger.  I am grateful to have him.
Bill
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Deuteronomy 7:9

Offline dga57

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #5 on: November 07, 2019, 11:45:39 PM »
Bill,

The undeniable truth is that we ultimately all have to play the hand we're dealt.  I'm 62 and can't begin to imagine not being able to drive, although my wife hasn't driven since 2007; a massive stroke left her so impaired at age 46 that she could not possibly drive a car.  I commend you for acknowledging and accepting your situation so graciously and courageously.. . it can't be easy. 

I'll bet your buddy, at 82, is thrilled to find an activity where he can be useful in someone else's life.  I hope you'll share many lunches and attend many, many car shows together.  I lost my best friend Charlie (like the brother I never had) a little over five years ago.  He was twenty years my senior but we were like two peas in a pod.  We made numerous road trips together all over the eastern part of the U.S., and as far west as Illinois, picking up cars I had purchased through eBay or other channels.  When we'd get them home, he was right there, helping with whatever they needed, mechanical or body work.  One of our favorite pastimes was spending a day at a local junkyard, picking up whatever treasures tickled our fancy whether we had an actual need for them or not. You would not believe the junk we dragged home!  lol  The car hobby is one that bonds people together in a way other people can't understand.  Despite your circumstances, I hope you'll endeavor to remain as active as you can in the hobby, even though you can't drive. 

And of course, as Scott has already said, you are always welcome here.  You are among friends! 

Dwayne :)

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Offline JoeBob

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #6 on: November 08, 2019, 07:26:52 AM »

I was right. Can you imagine that at age 82 my friend had never driven a Ford. Last June I offered him a t-shirt from a all Ford car show that featured my car on it. He said being a Chevy man he just could not wear it.

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Offline dga57

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #7 on: November 09, 2019, 02:36:35 AM »
So... I'm dying to know; did he drive your Bobcat and if so, what did he think of it?

Dwayne :)
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Offline Wittsend

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #8 on: November 09, 2019, 10:48:30 AM »
Like Dwayne I'm 62 also.  I sometimes wonder if it will be others and not myself that eventually has me stop driving. I can hardly drive down a LA area freeway without feeling I have dodged a number of accidents.  People will blow by me at 80+ MPH and cut across without signaling. They cut so close that it is rather startling. On one 50 mile trip to the airport my wife must have screamed three times.

  Another thing is people wandering in the lanes. I'm assuming it is their %$#! phones. Recently I had a jacked up truck fly by me going at least 80 and his tires were slapping the lane marker dots as it seemed he was less than a foot away from me. Even though I was off to one of my favorite swapmeets I nearly turned around and went home.  I told my wife our car must be magnetic. It is unbelievable how many cars pass me right at the edge of the lane and then as a delayed after thought in their subconscious they center in the lane AFTER they have passed me. Again, I attribute it to phone distraction.

I find the extreme windshield rack on modern cars to exaggerate the perception of cars having the appearance of cutting across lanes when in fact they aren't. Couple that at night with modern headlights casting a wide beam and thus shadows, a car passing can give the same perception of a low flying plane you weren't expecting.

My mother in law, my wife forced her to give up her license at 86. But then she should have never (as in never - ever) been given a license in the first place. Her driving was always abysmal.

I have come to appreciate stop and go traffic on the freeway because it forces people to drive slower and more cautiously.

Offline JoeBob

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #9 on: November 09, 2019, 11:32:42 PM »


My friend did drive my car. I think it was very uncomfortable for him. He has that big 56 Chevy and a jacked up Jeep. With my chronic fatigue I can't clime up high enough to get in. Being 82 he had a tough time getting down low into my car. I believe he liked the car, especially the handling.  After sitting so high in the air he said he felt like he was dragging his butt. I wanted to drive to Boulder for lunch, but he wasn't comfortable enough to take a longer trip. Someone shouted compliments across the parking lot. So mission accomplished. I got my ego fix.
My wife believes I am still capable of driving. The car has not driven for six weeks, so I drove it around the block to warm it up before my friend arrived. 15 miles per hour so I think I was safe.
I may be ok, but I imagine what people think, seeing me hobble across the parking lot with my walker. If I saw me, I would think, no way that man should be driving!
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Deuteronomy 7:9

Offline caravan3921

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #10 on: November 13, 2019, 07:25:41 AM »
If your wife still believes you are capable of driving, then that speaks volumes, don't you think? Perhaps take to heart her insight and wisdom and try to take back roads as often as possible. If I lived near you we'd go lots of places together in Bob!

Offline JoeBob

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #11 on: November 13, 2019, 09:18:39 PM »

No one truly knows the capability of someone else. Am I still able, I don't know. I do know that I am  20% the man I used to be.
 I am 90% sure I can still do it. But if that 10% injures or kills someone, everyone including myself will say, I should have known better.
Thank you all for the encouragement.
















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Deuteronomy 7:9

Offline russosborne

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #12 on: November 14, 2019, 03:23:41 AM »
Bill,
part of me wants to say go for it, but then the other part says, if you don't feel safe it isn't worth it. Don't worry about what "other people" might think.
You need to do what you feel comfortable doing.
Russ
In Glendale, Arizona

RIP Casey, Mallory, Abby, and Sadie. We miss you.

79 Pinto ESS fully caged fun car. In progress. 8inch 4.10 gears. 351C and a T5 waiting to go in.

Offline dga57

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #13 on: November 14, 2019, 08:21:44 AM »
Bill,
part of me wants to say go for it, but then the other part says, if you don't feel safe it isn't worth it. Don't worry about what "other people" might think.
You need to do what you feel comfortable doing.
Russ

I'll second that!!!  Couldn't have put it any better myself!

Dwayne :)
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Offline Henrius

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #14 on: November 16, 2019, 07:47:06 PM »
Bill,


This was a very touching story! Especially since your story so closely parallels my own. I got my 1973 Runabout in 1976 when I was 21 preparing to enter dental School.  I kept her all these years. She now looks newer than when I bought her used!


I have often thought of what would happen when I could not drive anymore. I will probably sit in the car in the garage, start the engine, and listen to the radio, reminiscing about my youth.


If your wife should ever have to sell Bob after your demise, have her contact me.


Kim
1973 Pinto Runabout with upgraded 2.0 liter & 4 speed, and factory sunroof. My first car, now restored, and better than it was when it rolled off the assembly line!

Offline JoeBob

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #15 on: January 14, 2020, 02:20:39 AM »
    I thought I would update you how I am doing. I am not doing well. My chronic fatigue has progressed more rapidly as of late. Walking room to room is an ordeal. A walk of 30 ft. has me gasping for breath.
    This is strange as I have good lung capacity and a good oxygen reading.
    Chronic fatigue effects everyone differently. Seven years ago it started with short periods of weakness and progressed from there. The last 10 weeks it has been a steep decline. Eventually after my vitality is expended, it will start on my organs. Then I will die.
    I appreciate your compassion for me, but please offer no ideas to try. In seven years I have heard them all.
    I had this goofy idea. Not many people have the opportunity that I do. I see my end coming and I can make plans accordingly. I would like to write my own obituary and post it here. Is this in poor taste?
    I would like to write it now and post it when I see the days are getting short. Perhaps the end will sneak up on me, I will ask someone else to post it after I am gone.
    I have no clue how much time I have. It may be a few months, of perhaps I will linger on for years.
    I like this idea. Who knows, I might have a little fun with it as I wait to pass on. 
    Let me know what you think.
Bill
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Deuteronomy 7:9

Offline russosborne

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #16 on: January 14, 2020, 03:34:13 AM »
I'm sure some will not like it, but I say go for it if you feel that it might help you.
Sorry to hear you are feeling worse.
Russ
In Glendale, Arizona

RIP Casey, Mallory, Abby, and Sadie. We miss you.

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Offline dga57

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #17 on: January 14, 2020, 05:09:56 PM »
I'm sorry that your health seems to be in a rapid decline but I certainly see nothing wrong with your idea of composing your own obituary and posting it here.  I would suggest that you start a new topic for it and clearly define what it is; that way anyone who doesn't want to read it can completely avoid it and those who do can find it easily.  By all means, go for it!


Dwayne :)
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Offline Wittsend

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #18 on: January 14, 2020, 06:58:22 PM »
Frankly, I like the idea.  If the deceased wrote out what they would like to say to everyone they will have a captive audience. And if what one has to say doesn't go over well..., well your not there to be embarrassed.  To me it is more about the departed saying "good-bye" than it is about people saying what a great guy someone was..., and then that is forgotten as soon as the food comes out.

Offline Henrius

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #19 on: January 14, 2020, 09:09:08 PM »
It would be touching, especially if you tie it in with what your Pinto and Bobcat meant in your life.

And possibly also to point out fellow forum members who have helped you maintain your beloved Bobcat.

As far as being eery, a childhood friend of my father pre-addressed Christmas cards to his friends with this news that he was now deceased, and entrusted them to a close friend, who mailed them at Christmastime the year that he died. Now that was unusual, getting a Christmas card from someone deceased.

The body is a mystery. Every human is different. Some problems we just cannot solve, and will only understand when we meet our Almighty Father.
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Offline Henrius

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #20 on: January 14, 2020, 09:11:39 PM »
You know you got to last long enough for you and your wife to show the Bobcat at the Mercury meet you were telling me about in Colorado this year!

















[/quote]
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Offline 1972 Wagon

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #21 on: January 15, 2020, 02:49:25 PM »
I like the idea of including what your car has meant to you. Maybe write a history of it so the next owner/ driver knows the car's background. I want my Pinto to go to someone who will enjoy driving it as much as I do. I think mentioning ways the Pinto group has helped would also be a nice thing to do. Every time I start my Pinto, I think of Pinto_ One who helped me learn how to disconnect the speedo cable and also sent me some indicator sockets to replace the ones that had crumbled. Thank you just didn't seem to cover such kindness.
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Offline JoeBob

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #22 on: January 15, 2020, 03:41:11 PM »
I was born in 55, but is my intention to begin it in Oct of  72. That is when I bought my 72 trunk model. Everything else is just Boooring!
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Offline JoeBob

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #23 on: August 24, 2020, 01:07:53 AM »
Well I am still here! It has been seven months since my last post on this thread. If I was to predict how long I was going to live, I would have said until May.
    May was a changing point in my life. May 17th I had a heart attack. I had four 95% blockages. I received stents in two. The other two were not reachable.
    My family predicted that the heart repair would change my life. They thought I would get my energy back. It did not happen. I was in the hospital 4 days. I returned home to the miserable life I had before. There was one change, my body hurt all over. Now I had fatigue and pain.
   There are 3 heart patients in my family and they all said, "any day now things will get better. Your heart repair will kick in."
    In late June I asked my doctor for Tramadol, a pain killer. Tramadol has been helpful in the past with pain and chronic fatigue.
    It was life changing. I received a influx of energy. Not a lot of energy, just some. I am back to walking 100 feet at a time. I also feel strong enough to drive. My family said it was my heart healing. It is not. If I stop taking the pills I lapse. The doctors do not have anything to say about my improvement.
    Thank you all for your prayers and well wishes. I have no idea what will happen next. I am more hopeful.
Bill
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Deuteronomy 7:9

Offline Henrius

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #24 on: August 24, 2020, 07:34:39 PM »
Bill,

The body is a mysterious organism. We healers think we give the best treatment. Sometimes the results are outstanding; sometimes they are disappointing.

Tramadol helps pain but does not give one energy to fight fatigue. Perhaps something else is afoot. I am flummoxed about what your illness is and why it attacks such a wide variety of organ systems. Tramadol is a synthetic narcotic and has addiction potential. Doubtless you know this. Be careful. Nevertheless, I am glad to hear you are still alive! You and I were born the same year.
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Offline dga57

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #25 on: August 24, 2020, 08:41:57 PM »
Bill,

Sorry to hear about your cardiac problems but so glad to hear that you are now feeling better.  Welcome back!

Dwayne :)
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Offline Wittsend

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #26 on: August 25, 2020, 03:25:32 PM »
Often times our energy can feel depleted when we are dealing with pain. So, that lack of energy might be more perceived than actual. Once the pain is abated it feels like we have more energy. I think we all need to do what we  see in our best interest. It often seems a toss up between medication to make us feel better but at the cost of side effect over time.

I'm two years your junior (63) and thankfully I'm on no medications. I've had a heart arrhythmia for 40 years but it is mostly aggravated by stress. For about 20 years I took a low level Beta Blocker (Inderal). When I turned 50 my Cardiologist said I need to have an Echocardiagram every year otherwise he would no long continue to be my doctor saying it was "guidelines." I couldn't afford that so I slowly took myself off the Inderal and haven't had anything for 13 years. While I hated being the scrawny kid growing up (6' / 136 lb's at HS graduation) it has keeps me under 170 lb's in my older age. Still I ache all over when I get up in the morning. But, I will myself to be occupied and frankly that to me is the best medicine, keeping your mind off the unpleasant.

Hopefully things will get better for you. In a three year period I got Frozen Shoulder twice, once in each arm. I thought it would never get better but over the course of a year (not seeing any results until month nine) I was eventually healed. Some healing takes a long time and being older doesn't help. Keep yourself occupied as best you can and try and stay active to the degree you are able. All the best.

Offline 71v8Pinto

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #27 on: September 06, 2020, 05:43:15 PM »
Hi Bill!

I'm sorry to hear about the heart attach and then surgery. I am glad you asked for Tramdol though, I have very bad chronic pain and have to take it every day, and it helps me be able to work so I understand. Unlike some other real opioids it does have to seem a property that allows energy.  +1 to  Wittsend, when I am in a lot of pain it makes everything worse and it takes way much more energy to do the same task. If I have to take anything heavier than Tramadol it makes me tired, it is probably a combination of how much energy the pain itself takes away from you and the effects of heavier pain medication. I wish you the best regarding your pain management.

I might ask a family member or a younger friend to come to the house and drive you in the Pinto to go get breakfast or coffee once a week, maybe there might be a cars and coffee event or the like nearby enough every now and then. The point being, if you pick a regular day of the week to get out in the car it would be good for you and fun, and something to look forward to every week which is good for the mind and outlook.

I wish you well Sir!
Brian aka 71v8Pinto