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Offline JoeBob

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no longer driving
« on: November 06, 2019, 12:26:47 AM »

    When my wife's father turned 80 we took his driving privileges. 6 Weeks ago at age 64 I surrendered my own.
    My chronic fatigue has advanced to the point walking is an ordeal. I am not going to miss my freedom as much as I will miss my bobcat.
The body shop did an amazing job in August. I don't believe in it's 42 year life it has ever looked better. It gets lots of attention.
    The car has become my social life. I know you all understand. Strangers talk to me constantly. I feel like a celebrity, but it's not really me, it's the car. I seldom leave the house with out talking to one or up to ten people.
    I don't have many friends, after my health caused me to retire, my social circle has shrunk. I still made temporary friends, everyday when I drove my car.
My truest friend, my most loved friend is my bobcat. I named him Bob of course.
    Those who know me inquire how Bob is doing the same way one would ask about my wife.
    I don't expect to recover. I don't believe I will live much longer. I will continue to come here every day and live the pinto life through you all.
Thank you for the contributions you have all made that improved my and Bob's lives.


Bill Fallert

77 yellow Bobcat hatchback
Deuteronomy 7:9

Offline Scott Hamilton

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #1 on: November 06, 2019, 03:16:10 PM »
Wow Bob- what a post. You are always welcome here with us Pinto geeks, it takes 'special person' to play in our sandbox. :)

Not being able to drive your Bobcat, how are you going to cope? I mean really, eating is optional but pinto driving, it's a requirement for well being and emotional stability.

We are here for you,

:D
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Offline russosborne

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #2 on: November 06, 2019, 06:24:04 PM »
Bill, does your wife still drive? If she does, have her chauffeur you around.
I know it's not the same, but you can still enjoy the Pinto and the attention.

It takes real courage to do what you have done.

Russ
In Glendale, Arizona

RIP Casey, Mallory, Abby, and Sadie. We miss you.

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Offline flash041

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #3 on: November 06, 2019, 09:02:25 PM »
Bob, so sad to hear. What you and Scott says rings true to all in the Pinto Community. Like Russ says can your wife drive? How about a friend from your local car club? The head of one of the car clubs I belong to, was unable to drive for a time because of his poor eyesight. A club member drove him and his car to cruise nights so he could still socialize. Just a thought.


Dave 
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1993 Mustang LX 2.3 convertible

Offline JoeBob

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #4 on: November 07, 2019, 12:59:44 AM »

     So I took your advice before you gave it. I have a buddy I go to shows with. He has a 56 Belair and we go to 5 or 6 events per year. I asked him to drive us up to Boulder for lunch tomorrow in my car. It is a 20 minute drive from where I live. (Arvada) I hope to take the highway on the way up, and back roads returning. I want to give Bob a workout. I do not know if he has ever driven a Ford.  He is in for a treat. 
     I think it must be strange optics to see an 82 year old man seeing to the needs of someone  much younger.  I am grateful to have him.
Bill
77 yellow Bobcat hatchback
Deuteronomy 7:9

Offline dga57

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #5 on: November 07, 2019, 11:45:39 PM »
Bill,

The undeniable truth is that we ultimately all have to play the hand we're dealt.  I'm 62 and can't begin to imagine not being able to drive, although my wife hasn't driven since 2007; a massive stroke left her so impaired at age 46 that she could not possibly drive a car.  I commend you for acknowledging and accepting your situation so graciously and courageously.. . it can't be easy. 

I'll bet your buddy, at 82, is thrilled to find an activity where he can be useful in someone else's life.  I hope you'll share many lunches and attend many, many car shows together.  I lost my best friend Charlie (like the brother I never had) a little over five years ago.  He was twenty years my senior but we were like two peas in a pod.  We made numerous road trips together all over the eastern part of the U.S., and as far west as Illinois, picking up cars I had purchased through eBay or other channels.  When we'd get them home, he was right there, helping with whatever they needed, mechanical or body work.  One of our favorite pastimes was spending a day at a local junkyard, picking up whatever treasures tickled our fancy whether we had an actual need for them or not. You would not believe the junk we dragged home!  lol  The car hobby is one that bonds people together in a way other people can't understand.  Despite your circumstances, I hope you'll endeavor to remain as active as you can in the hobby, even though you can't drive. 

And of course, as Scott has already said, you are always welcome here.  You are among friends! 

Dwayne :)

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Offline JoeBob

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #6 on: November 08, 2019, 07:26:52 AM »

I was right. Can you imagine that at age 82 my friend had never driven a Ford. Last June I offered him a t-shirt from a all Ford car show that featured my car on it. He said being a Chevy man he just could not wear it.

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Deuteronomy 7:9

Offline dga57

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #7 on: November 09, 2019, 02:36:35 AM »
So... I'm dying to know; did he drive your Bobcat and if so, what did he think of it?

Dwayne :)
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Offline Wittsend

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #8 on: November 09, 2019, 10:48:30 AM »
Like Dwayne I'm 62 also.  I sometimes wonder if it will be others and not myself that eventually has me stop driving. I can hardly drive down a LA area freeway without feeling I have dodged a number of accidents.  People will blow by me at 80+ MPH and cut across without signaling. They cut so close that it is rather startling. On one 50 mile trip to the airport my wife must have screamed three times.

  Another thing is people wandering in the lanes. I'm assuming it is their %$#! phones. Recently I had a jacked up truck fly by me going at least 80 and his tires were slapping the lane marker dots as it seemed he was less than a foot away from me. Even though I was off to one of my favorite swapmeets I nearly turned around and went home.  I told my wife our car must be magnetic. It is unbelievable how many cars pass me right at the edge of the lane and then as a delayed after thought in their subconscious they center in the lane AFTER they have passed me. Again, I attribute it to phone distraction.

I find the extreme windshield rack on modern cars to exaggerate the perception of cars having the appearance of cutting across lanes when in fact they aren't. Couple that at night with modern headlights casting a wide beam and thus shadows, a car passing can give the same perception of a low flying plane you weren't expecting.

My mother in law, my wife forced her to give up her license at 86. But then she should have never (as in never - ever) been given a license in the first place. Her driving was always abysmal.

I have come to appreciate stop and go traffic on the freeway because it forces people to drive slower and more cautiously.

Offline JoeBob

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #9 on: November 09, 2019, 11:32:42 PM »


My friend did drive my car. I think it was very uncomfortable for him. He has that big 56 Chevy and a jacked up Jeep. With my chronic fatigue I can't clime up high enough to get in. Being 82 he had a tough time getting down low into my car. I believe he liked the car, especially the handling.  After sitting so high in the air he said he felt like he was dragging his butt. I wanted to drive to Boulder for lunch, but he wasn't comfortable enough to take a longer trip. Someone shouted compliments across the parking lot. So mission accomplished. I got my ego fix.
My wife believes I am still capable of driving. The car has not driven for six weeks, so I drove it around the block to warm it up before my friend arrived. 15 miles per hour so I think I was safe.
I may be ok, but I imagine what people think, seeing me hobble across the parking lot with my walker. If I saw me, I would think, no way that man should be driving!
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Deuteronomy 7:9

Offline caravan3921

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #10 on: November 13, 2019, 07:25:41 AM »
If your wife still believes you are capable of driving, then that speaks volumes, don't you think? Perhaps take to heart her insight and wisdom and try to take back roads as often as possible. If I lived near you we'd go lots of places together in Bob!

Offline JoeBob

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #11 on: November 13, 2019, 09:18:39 PM »

No one truly knows the capability of someone else. Am I still able, I don't know. I do know that I am  20% the man I used to be.
 I am 90% sure I can still do it. But if that 10% injures or kills someone, everyone including myself will say, I should have known better.
Thank you all for the encouragement.
















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Deuteronomy 7:9

Offline russosborne

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #12 on: November 14, 2019, 03:23:41 AM »
Bill,
part of me wants to say go for it, but then the other part says, if you don't feel safe it isn't worth it. Don't worry about what "other people" might think.
You need to do what you feel comfortable doing.
Russ
In Glendale, Arizona

RIP Casey, Mallory, Abby, and Sadie. We miss you.

79 Pinto ESS fully caged fun car. In progress. 8inch 4.10 gears. 351C and a T5 waiting to go in.
74 Pinto Wagon.  To be or Not to be a Pinchero, that is the question.

Offline dga57

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #13 on: November 14, 2019, 08:21:44 AM »
Bill,
part of me wants to say go for it, but then the other part says, if you don't feel safe it isn't worth it. Don't worry about what "other people" might think.
You need to do what you feel comfortable doing.
Russ

I'll second that!!!  Couldn't have put it any better myself!

Dwayne :)
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Offline Henrius

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Re: no longer driving
« Reply #14 on: November 16, 2019, 07:47:06 PM »
Bill,


This was a very touching story! Especially since your story so closely parallels my own. I got my 1973 Runabout in 1976 when I was 21 preparing to enter dental School.  I kept her all these years. She now looks newer than when I bought her used!


I have often thought of what would happen when I could not drive anymore. I will probably sit in the car in the garage, start the engine, and listen to the radio, reminiscing about my youth.


If your wife should ever have to sell Bob after your demise, have her contact me.


Kim
1973 Pinto Runabout with upgraded 2.0 liter & 4 speed, and factory sunroof. My first car, now restored, and better than it was when it rolled off the assembly line!