Well ,Chapter one ensues;

 Our Starship "Opportunity" that was built in 2025 by the Earth initiative "Hope & Change" is losing ground in its futile attempt to evade the GIP by violating the NO WAKE interstellar space near the Prius constellation.
 The Captain James B. Shirk, is deep in conversation with First officer Mr, Glock, a biosynthetic life form that evolved to its present state by using superior weapons of personal nature.
 "Mr. Glock , I can't get any more speed out of this ship, we're about to be immobilized by a Gorebasm Beam. The Engineer Mr.Gotti has no more reactive fuel to add to our DMB drive." says Shirk.
 "Captain, may I remind you that this scenario would not have existed, had your species not signed on to that Carbon footprint nonsense in the first decade of this century, we would have the Hottest WARP drive in the galaxy!" pipes up First Officer Glock.
  "Enough Blame Glock, We need a solution, and it's got to work the first time!"  retorts the Captain.
 "Well, if we add an illegal fuel additive to the DMB matrix and risk the detonation of our engine, we theoretically could gather enough speed to use the gravity of that star ahead, and slingshot back in time to the early 20th century and change the concept of your Earth enviro-stupidity! We then could show the people the danger of using science against the populace by promoting Ignorance and Fear." says Glock.
 "Astounding, then maybe I could have a Gun as big as yours when we return!

Keep it up, I love sci-fi!!

I laughed - I cried - I ate bad popcorn and gummi worms.....

Chris

 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:  Wifey sez "What in the world are you laffin' at?"  :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

waiting... :read: !!

Chapter Two, Part one...
 We rejoin the story of our intrepid star travelers a they have just left their Present reality and journeyed through time and space into the past. Their goal was to arrive before the foundations of the great Myth about man-made climate change were formed.
 The stellar fabric of space heaved, twisted, and spewed galactic debris from a Dark, near sphincter looking area of the Milky Way galaxy. In that debris, our ship USS Opportunity emerged. The ship careened like a old Buick with worn out steering, as it slowed to the solar system and planet we know as Earth.
  "Mr. Glock , When are we?" Exclaimed Shirk "Mr. Solu, Lt. Jerkov, Get this Ship stabilized and set coordinance for a Cloaked Earth orbit!"
  "Captain, we may have a Problem," says Glock "We have Underestimated the amount of C.R.A.P. necessary to arrive at the desired time"
 "And that puts us when?" cries Shirk, thinking he won't be able to effect the cause for bigger firearms in the future.
 " In answer to your question Captain, it's Earth year 1974.We have missed our mark by some twenty years" replies Glock.
 "Any suggestions for a solution, Glock?" retorts Shirk, visibly annoyed.
 "We have no more elemental ingredients for more C.R.A.P." says Glock, "And we may have stressed the DMB drive manifolds to their design limits for the F.A.R.T consequences. May I suggest we do a complete status evaluation of our  ship before a plan forward is implemented."
 "Mr. Gotti, report to my quarters with full ship assessment" says Shirk, "Lt Woohooru, get me some data on the conditions of Earth Communications, and zip up your uniform!"
 "Dr. McCrotch , any effects on the Ships Crew?" inquires Shirk
 "We're still getting reports of uneasy behavior, and sweaty pits " says the Doctor ,sometimes called "Stones" by Shirk.
 Chapter Two, Part one concludes

Chapter Two ,Part two
 Our crew and ship are now in 1974, well short of the desired date to effect change in the Enviro stupidity of the era, but still able to alter the future of policy by concept of affecting individuals in the past.
 We continue..
 " Glock , what are we going to do with the temporal consequences of this time if we can't locate the people to effect change?" says Shirk , known amongst Starfleet as the most indecisive commanding officer in the academy graduating class.
 "Captain, once we get the Crew to stop sweating and issue cerebral stimulus to all , we can begin with a historical list of significant individuals to contact and influence" says Glock , stroking his synthetic half of his forehead, and feeling a migraine headache forming on the organic half of his brain,
 
"Mr, Gotti, Have you completed a Ship assessment yet?" chirps Shirk

 Aye Cap'n, but we've got a bunch of DTC codes to Dump from the ECU in Hillary,(the Ships computer), and I fear that the DMB drive is burned out!" says Mr Gotti
 " Blast it Gotti!, You dumb @$$ Scot! Hillary has had PMS since this ship left spacedock. Get that damn Digital Beeyatch reformatted, and let's have some progress! " blasts Shirk

 "With all due respect Cap'n, we'll get it fixed, But you'll have to check your Metro @ss wipe attitude at the door, unless you think you can spank me in the Holodeck! snarls Gotti
  By now Mr. Glock has a full blown Half migraine and is losing his composure. He accesses a neuro-paralytic console and regretfully punches the STUN paddle.

 The Captain freezes mid-sentence drops to the floor and wets his spandex. The second Engineer comes on the com asking Mr. Glock for a Cleanup in engineering, and requests a hazmat crew and a Bottle of Stoly.

 Mr. Glock now leaves the Bridge to Mr. Solu, returning to his quarters for a Copolymer Infusion and Meditation. "Why did I Leave NOCAN for this StarFleet assignment" he postulates. His sleeps in a compressed state as the Infusion IV  begins.
 
 Chapter Two, PartTwo ends here

Chapter Three, Part Two
 Mr Glock ,is discussing with the Captain on whom to contact, and how to get them to believe that the consequences of their future, should they do nothing..
 
 "Glock, which group of these car enthusiasts will be the most likely to effect change?" says Captain Shirk

 "Captain, It would appear that affluent car owners are the least likely to organize, so that would leave the aware , but poorer classes that would have the greatest motivation to bring power to the process of change." replies Glock

 "So the Mob rule with torches & pitchforks analogy applies here?" says Shirk
 
 " We can use the lists of the Future members car clubs to find out who will be passionate enough to think of the Future and thus the generations that will inherit these cars will be influenced by their previous owners. If we do this right, we will arrive to a new reality when we return to our own timeline!" injects the first officer.
  All the talk about passionate people has the executive staff minus Glock, breathing heavier. Lt. Woohoora has once again unzipped her top, and Lt. Solu is now strutting around like a Ninja. The Captain is daydreaming of his personal sidearms of the possible future.
  "Well Glock ,let's run a scenario! Whom in this list of that Future car club of 1999 "Ford Pinto.com" can we contact? " says Shirk

 "The problem is that many of these people on the list were underage or not even born at this time" says Glock, thinking he'll need another infusion soon.

 "Crap!" says Shirk, "How can this work then?"

 "I have already mentioned that we have no further ingredients for additional C.R.A.P. In fact If we could make more C.R.A.P. , we could travel further back in time and make this much simpler" says Glock , feeling his NOCAN indignation rearing up in his divided Brain.
 
" We'll have to create Video presentations for the adults, and the future owners will be approached with the "Message in a Bottle" protocol. " says Glock

 "Bottle's? What the Hell does that have to do with these people?" cried Shirk, recalling his childhood days of colonic irrigation as a remedy for ADHD.

 "We'll leave a paperback novel under the kick panel that describes the Future of automotive oppression and have images of Hybrid and electric vehicles along with a description of life after the big global EMP that stalled life for 10 years as we rebuilt the world. They're touchy about aliens, so we have to be cautious with disclosure." replies Glock
 And so the plan begins, with a list and a legacy to pass on..

 Chapter Three,Part Two concludes...

Man, this is great!! You should have someone draw up a comic book to go with it. I bet you could use it for a fund raiser.

When Cpt. Shirk integrates into society, is he Denny Crane? I bet that is how he gets his big guns!

P

Ah Ha, A Froadian slip, You are Glock! I thought the square ears were funny!!!

Chapter 5, Part One..
 Captain Shirk arrives at Engineering, having expressed his agnst at the Ship's Computer (Hillary) for her innate sarcasm. As Mr Gotti emerges from behind a DMB Manifold, Shirk mutter under his breath " Damn digital Bitch" !
 Mr. Gotti, now already irritated, lets go a flurry of Scottish epithets. "Well you Lordship, how kind of you to make an appearance!"
 
" I trust you have a good reason for calling me down here?" says Shirk.

 "Aye Captain, This ship might be run by a Weanie, and controlled by a PMS laden computer, But it takes a real man to keep it moving through space!" replies Gotti "We have no further options to make a Jump to time travel further into the past. The blasted computer keeps making warp speed orbits to see if the satellites on earth can detect the distortion of the Space in the wake. At this rate we'll need to refuel the main drive just to return to our own time."

 " Wonderful, Mr. Gotti ,you may have earned yourself a permanent residence in the past!" Get a search going for elemental ingredients for refueling, and get that Lunatic reprogrammed!" snarls Shirk and returns to the Bridge.

 On the Bridge,Chaos is in full play.. Lt. WooHooru is half-naked, Mr. Solu is doing Ballet moves, Mr.Jerkov has started reciting works of Stalin, and Mr. Glock has plugged into the Ship's Computer with his Synthetic half of his brain, and is playing Galactic war games with a Earth computer at NORAD. Shirk can take no More, He pulls out his apocalypse remote presses Stun! The entire ship goes black and all crew pass out.

 Chapter 5 Part One ends here..

 
 

Chapter Five, Part Two..
 Events have gone from bad to worse for our intrepid time travelers. As the effects of the apocalypse remote wear off, it would appear that something is just not right. Now it becomes obvious that a large portion of the Command staff on the bridge are missing. Mr. Gotti arrives from engineering to a crew that cannot recall where the last 5 minutes went, and no one knows where Mr.Glock , Captain Shirk, and Lt. Woohooru have gone. A quick ship diagnostic shows a Major OBD failure code in the Transporter.
 Mr Gotti, deduces that Hillary (the Ship's computer) has asserted herself and taken all of the ship's recent programming into account and sent the bridge crew to Southern California. Mr. Gotti also pinpoints the locations to Venice and nearby Santa Monica. The "message in bottle" protocol now resembles a episode of "I Dream of Jeanie".
 Mr. Gotti now has command of the Ship, and things just might function a bit better with Shirk and Woohooru amongst the SoCal Culture of the day. Mr.Glock has a bigger challenge, but it's Halloween and , Of course , Pintos are everywhere!
 "Mr. Solu, Resume your post, and get me a open Link to First Officer Glock!" says Gotti, now relishing the priveliges of command.
 "Aye, Mr. Gotti, I just now finished my Plies!" says Solu, thinking about how to do Pilates at his console.

 Chapter Five, Part Two ends here...

Chapter6 , Part One..
 Well, Mr. Gotti now has the Command of USS Opportunity, as a result of Hillary becoming self-aware, and beaming Captain Shirk,Mr. Glock, and Lt. Woohooru down to the coastal Socal area of LA. He is attempting to establish a Comm link with Mr. Glock, but the Halloween celebration has our crew quite occupied with explaining their presence.
 Lt. Woohooru as you may recall, was running around the Bridge topless as Shirk pressed the apocalypse remote. Mr. Glock was playing war games with a NORAD computer on earth. The three of them were relocated to two locations. Woohooru has been recruited by the Owner of a Nude dance club on Sunset Blvd. Shirk has wound up in front of a Herbal medicine store, and has been dragged inside by a local beach Bunny for a "Herbal Cleanse". Mr. Glock is in the middle of a Existential Poetry reading in a Coffee house. All are acutely aware of the consequence of revealing any real info about their origins.
 Mr.Gotti has been enjoying the privelege of Command , and has been trying to psycho-analyze Hillary to determine how far off the reservation she has gone. It has him perplexed, but not surprised, as Hillary was modeled after a Former First lady with a Meglomaniac complex. As he reads through a digital summary of reactive mind and has to build a digital guilt program to allow her to see the errors of her "prime directive" program.

 Chapter 6, Part One ends here..

OH NO!! ANOTHER WORMHOLE!! :nocool:

Will Capt. Shirk be jailed for human polution?
Will Glock be the one that ends the beatnick era?
Will Woohooru end up a playboy centerfold?
Will Jerkov become the first to be gay married?
Will Gotti just give up on the whole thing and go back to his own time and retire?

Tune in next time, it could be worse!!!

Chapter 7 , Part One
 
 As the Opportunity descends into a Rift in the Rockies in Colorado, the disturbance of a New wormhole in the Milky Way galaxy causes a interstellar dust cloud to disperse. The commander of a Cruiser of the G.I.P. (Galactic Interstellar Police) has his science officer direct an immediate scan for any warp drive signature residue. He's hoping to intercept the Rogue starship that escaped his grasp in the Prius constellation.
 He finds nothing to indicate that he's arrived in the correct Time for capturing the crew of the Opportunity. "Blast the rectal efflusium" he retorts, unsure of his plan to retrieve the outlaw starship.
 Back on Earth, Mr. Glock has escaped the poetry room, hidden his appearance to appear to look like a mannequin , and placed an ad in the LA Times to try and connect with the Captain, unaware that Woohooru is pole dancing in the Nightclub 100yds away.
 Captain Shirk, suffering from a expresso colonic, is now wandering the Sunset district, trying to triangulate on Glock's communicator signal. "Blast it Glock, where are you?" he mutters under his breath. He then sees a Gun Store and his eyes and attention span wander, "OMG a 45 Colt! ", his legs trembling and his trigger finger curled.

 Chapter 7 Part One ends here