Santa’s Solution “Twas a month before Christmas,and things sure did look bleak … Rudolph and the gang, well, they’d been hung over for a week! Santa and the elves had deep furrows in their brows… Thinking they might have to make do with cows! For surely, the ‘deer couldn’t be whipped into shape… ‘specially after consuming so much nectar o’ the grape! So the minds were a clashing and grinding, a lookin’ for a source… To get those toys delivered on time, as was the usual course! When over in the corner, underneath a car cover… An apprentice elf did spy, the answer to the dilemma, as if seeing a new lover! He proclaimed to the fat guy “ I’ve got it, of course!” “Let’s do it with wheels, and start with this horse!” Now the whole room turned to gaze on the Pinto, unused for two decades… ”Ah, With this load,it’ll never pull the grades!” But the fat guy winked, and said “ Not so fast!” “I know a few tricks, that’ll kick up the blast!” So off to the shop, the large one did go, and returned with the Scrolls titled “How not to go Slow!” It seemed like the whole place had gone crazy, As they debated the ways to get the power off the term “Lazy” So the great one,finally had to compromise… He went for Boost and control, and didn’t tell any lies. The end result,you may yet get to see … If you look to the evening sky at a quarter to three! For the bearded one is out doin’ test runs… As we sleep under the covers, warm as hot cross buns. Oh, “What’ll happen to the ‘deer?”, you might want to say… They’re doing fine, racin’ for pink slips, this very day!

Racer in a Condo He’s got a single car garage, barely wide enough, it’s a squeeze… To get his racer in at night, Isn’t life such a tease? His tires and wheels, they furnish his home so humble, Careful where you step … Or you’re sure to take a tumble! He’s got a floor jack holding up a plant,in the corner of his kitchen, He’s got a torque wrench by the Phone, ‘cause he thinks it looks so Bitchin’! The air tank’s in the corner, the jack stands form a table, The whole place is a toolbox, in this silly, twisted fable! Cases of Redline, are stacked neatly in a cube… The engine stand in the living room, holds up a 31" screen tube! The doorbell makes a sound, so pleasing to the ear, The wail of a DFV Cosworth, makes you wish for another beer! A true car nut indeed, nowhere will you find Bondo, He’s just another one of us… A Racer in a Condo! (JBK 2/03/99)

Hoofbeats in the Leap As we slog through another February, gray It suddenly hits us, another year with an extra day! For now as we toil with our efforts to pay tax, Our energy for play,is geared to the max! It’s a year with a leap, and it doesn’t happen often, If we sit on our butts, I’m sure they’re to soften So," Go outside, wash ‘er if you’re able", And clean out that stall, in that very special stable! Maybe buy a few parts, from the man called Pintony, So you won’t feel a draft, while ridin’ your pony! Pintosopher ( 02/28/00)

Horses In the Mist The streets are still, the air is cool with breeze The tracks from last nights car wars, are fresh as you please, It seems quite erie, as I survey the scene, Not a soul is in sight, viewed through eyes quite bleary As I munch on a muffin, from the place with a King I remember the egos, the words, the exhaust with a sting A soulless parade, of shiny Asian slammers, Nothing from the union, only kids with bad grammar. When suddenly, as I toss the trash in the pail I hear the sound, feel the vibration, it rises to a low wail It turns the corner,on the street so wide My pulse races, senses alert, heart fills with pride A beauty to behold, wells full of rubber, She skips sideways a bit, just hops off the snubber The exhaust crackles a bit on the overrun, He stabs it again, just for the sheer fun The light has it held,a rippin’ and snortin’ I wonder " How much cam and portin’?" Before I can think of anything to say, The light turns Green, no longer at bay, It drifts sideways, he corrects with a steer The motor screams, he grabs another gear A vanishing steed, as it moves through the haze I slap my forehead, "Have I been in a daze?" Forgotten heritage? To that I say "Nay! " "Go out to the garage,do what it takes, then go out to play!" Four, Six, or Eight holes in the heart of your beast, Show your stuff, your roots, your horse, at least! Many will call it slug, stone, or rolling Nag, To them, I will politely say " Want to Drag?" The Pintosopher (08 /11/99)

the Cowboy’s Lament Man, it’s tough in these modern days, To own a car from pre-EFI ways They buy their "Bodies", chips, and filter cones, We tweak the carbs, cams, and avoid looking like clones! They spend the bucks on "Techie" stuff, to speed up their play, We crack a book, tinker, and adjust areas gray They pull the cart, with wheels driven up front… We drive the power to the rear, Not such a complex stunt! Which way is better? Who’s the one to say, It’s just that our wallets are thicker, on a basis day to day! Another day slips by…"Oh gosh, Help me Rhonda!" "Just blew the doors off another Honda!" Pintosopher